Let's make a moment!

I don't know why but I feel like I should capture this moment. I wanted to be writing this maybe half hour ago but I'm now finally alert enough to make it happen. It's quarter to 3pm new years day and I just woke up. The house was generally quiet aside from my dad playing reggae music a room away. The sky is overcast but the wind looks still. It's a new day but it doesn't feel all that much different. I think what I wanted to capture was my waking thoughts, random as they are, perhaps parts of my dreams or something. I woke up to the phone ringing and I wonder if I had been talking in my sleep because I didn't have my normal super grit sandpaper voice going. I've been told that I do talk in my sleep. No one has told me what I talk about though.

Anyway, all that relationship stuff is on the brain. It's the nature of new years and that idealized count down where you hold your loved one in your arms and give them a big long sexy smooch when the clock strikes zero. It's the perfect ending to a movie that has cheese. Anyway, my thought that has no leads or attached thoughts. It's not an end to a long string of ideas, it's just in my head. "Let the love in." Wow. That's pretty cheese eh. I'm quite capable when I let myself. But yeah it makes sense right. Love doesn't happen when you want it to and often doesn't happen with those you want it to happen with, if you're open things may develop in ways you wouldn't think they would. I remember "the first love". We'd been together for a year and a half or so and were calling it quits. In the midst of the pain, misery, the late night argument that ensued, she told me that she had not always loved me. That when we started our relationship, she really wasn't sure and it just grew. That's always stayed with me. It means that everything doesn't have to be perfect right from the beginning. Nothing is perfect and relationships are supposed to have their give and take. I guess I'll tie it back all cheesy like. If she hadn't let the love in we would have never happened. And we all know I wouldn't be the person I am now.

A small note on new years. It was a late night, got home at 5, slept at 6, missed the sunrise, visited two parties, one of them twice, lots of people, okay conversation, much more than I could have asked for in any night especially new years, I'm grateful.

Eep, that's enough cheese reflection for the day, perhaps the week. I'm off to find some "requested" mac & cheese for a gathering later and actually put some food in my stomach.