Mmm breakfast

I'm not exactly a fantastic chef or anything. Okay so I'm not good at cooking at all but I promise it's just from lack of experience. I can't wait to cook. I've got lots of it in my genes and tons of Jamaican and Chinese dishes to learn. Wantons, Spring Rolls, Curry, Chow Mein! Bring it! As a step in the right direction, I made pouched eggs today. Eggs benny is one of my favorite breakfasts so that'll be the next thing I prepare. If you look in the picture I bet you can tell which egg came first. I did alright I think and it was super quick. Forget Hard boiled, this is the way to do it!

Anyway, I'm running late for dinner so I had better skedaddle. Tomorrow is new years, the planning starts tonight.

Peace, love and rock!

Justin

The Go-Getter poster

Here's the poster for the movie that enticed me. I forgot to mention the other thing is that Zooey Deschanel and Jena Malone are in it. I'm kind of a sucker for both of their stuff especially Zooey's. Another one of her's that I loved was "A Winter Passing". Great cast and story. It's Zooey, Will Farrell, and Ed Harris out in Michigan. Rent that one too!

The Go-Getter - A Justin Suggested moviefilm

So I just finished a moviefilm whatever last night I quite enjoyed. It's called the Go-Getter. It's a wandering type love story with some nice subtleties. I never saw a preview of the movie and something tells me it might ruin the movie and the simple complexity thing it has going. So why did I pick it up in the movie store then? (yes, a rental) Well, it had a Volvo station wagon on the cover of it. An old one, a 240 for those who are familiar. Old friends would know that significance for me. We used to have a fleet here. My dad had a 740 turbo, my mom had a 850 and my sister had a 240. But if you count all the Volvo's the number comes to 6. 3x 240 (beige and two silver) 2x 740 (red and goldmember) and the 850. Wow all these numbers. There's something kind of inspiring about a roadtrip in a car with such personality and hmm... noises as an old Volvo. They're solid cars no doubt. One of the 850's we had we nicknamed the classic. It made so many noises that if you got into it for the first time you'd think it was on it's last leg. The key? Turn the radio up just a little bit louder. Sweet!

Anyway, if you're like me and appreciate a little bit of an emo story, star crossed lovers (without the cheese) and a story that makes you feel just a little less helpless, definitely check this out. The music is great and it's got a little quirkiness to it. I know I'm not doing this justice but if you for some reason decide to actually check the movie out let me know what you think about it. Did you like it, hate it, want me to give you money for the rental and wasting your time and money. Seriously. I'm gonna see if I can just buy it. I can't seem to rip it and I'm highly doubting I'd be able to find it anywhere else.

I'm totally rambling about nothing, it's a beautiful day, and there's so much to do and time to enjoy so I'm gonna get to it. Spring cleaning day and laundry. I'll figure out a reason to get out in the car today as well, anyone need taxi service? I'm up for it. Let's rock!

To anyone that's reading, put a smile on along with your shoes and jacket and get outside for a nice walk. I bet it'll brighten your day to hear the world around outside no matter if it's the sounds of traffic and the streets, trains in the distance, crazy shoppers, random conversation, the homeless looking for change, people stereos playing too loud, running water, birds and nature or the wind howling in your ears. Enjoy!

Love and rock!

J

Shorty Eh

I guess by shorty I meant I was gonna write till I was dropping asleep. Holy smokes that's long.

J

A shorty while I'm full of ideas and a little bit of energy

Hey all, haha addressing this as if I have readers. Sweet!

So today was Sunday and it was a great day. As it's the holidays it doesn't quite have that punctuation of rest as it had during the busy working time but it was a highlight of the week. I woke up with Cooper the dog giving me a good licking to the face. I responded quickly by turning over and falling back asleep. I sure showed him haha. Then the laughter and running around of my nephews and later my family at the breakfast table talking about me. Not in a bad light, talking about a friend I had met recently, me going to buy coffee and going to church later in the day. Like I said, nothing bad and I was still in a daze but it did wake me up. Something about hearing people talk about you to one another is super interesting. (there's the eloquent tongue I have) But yeah you hear their true thoughts, their concerns and all that. Ah things I would have missed if I was actually sleeping in my bed instead of the couch.

Don't think I don't like sleeping on the couch. When my sisters visit and we have a full house, I'm more than happy to give up my bed and grab a couch or even the floor. It's a little change and not a bad one at that. We really have all this space in this house so we might as well use it. The more the merrier.

Anyway, I spent the morning with the fam, not doing a whole bunch, breakfast, a little conversation, watching my nephews play, doing and errand or two and then I got ready to actually leave the house. After a much needed post-lunch nap, I departed for Freedomize visit 4. Good times for sure. 

The high energy wasn't what it was the week before as it's fully family time and post xmas. The turn out wasn't super large but still there were familiar faces. I still struggle to remember names but every week I get a little bit better. The music was great as it always was, a little bit changed up but fun all the same. The biggest thing about the service today is how I felt like the pastor was speaking to me almost directly. No he didn't single me out or even look at me but the relevance in what he was speaking was quite high. It all sort of leads up to this decision and some of the thoughts in my little head. How long term will my attendance at Freedomize be and if and when I will go up for communion? In my mind they're both fairly large personal decisions and nothing I could make in a moment. I feel they're both things that should be quite conscious so I can actually mean it. The good is that I'm going to continue my attendance as often as I can manage and at some point when I'm ready when I decide a little more on my beliefs I'll take bread. 

This experience thus far has definitely been quite different. I'm making the choices I'm making as an individual. In Catholic school you have communion for the first time, have confession for the first time and have confirmation all when it's planned in the curriculum. When others have decided it's time. It's an opt out situation as well so if you're going with the flow (like I did) you just do it and don't contemplate it all that much. Even after reading chapters on what it means and how it's all a choice and the meaning and significance of it all. I think because it was part of the curriculum it missed some of the point. I'm sure I did the work and answered the questions in the text book but highly doubt I contemplated what it actually meant for myself. Now I decide when I'm ready, I'm not all planned out, I start the conversation almost. I do thank Kevin for his words during service today and I'm sure to mull it over till my next visit, the day before my return to work in one weeks time.

After church I got to hang out with a few FT people which was pretty sweet, good eats, good company and more thoughts for myself for later. It's weird though, sometimes I wonder if my conversation is boring or something like that. Sometimes I can't quite think on my feet. I really think this comes from the fact that I work by myself essentially. I don't really play off of anyone, I don't often feel comfortable throwing out unfinished ideas and things from the pit of my stomach. I'm sure it's something to work on and will be easier as time goes on and I get to know people a little more.

There's been lots of talk of new years plans and right now my best option seems to involve wandering the city in search of some inspiration, personal reflection and whatever else while I take photos of the night. I'm not sure what's open, what busses are running, how busy it will be of even if I'll be able to find coffee but I think I could enjoy it. Mind you if any offers get thrown on the table I'd likely be swayed from my plans but we'll see. I think I'd like to take an opportunity to do something small at the very least instead of staying home falling asleep in front of new years specials. Perhaps I'd change my tune when I actually look at what type of weather we're expecting but we'll see.

Anyway, Cuba Libre is a potential name for the band I'm in. I did that little illustration as the first bit of anything I've done over the break. I'll develop it a little more and yknow give myself an upper lip  but fun is fun.

Last thought of the night as I'm fading, someone said to me tonight, "You're supposed to be creative" and I couldn't agree more. I feel like I'm transitioning in to a more creative place in my mind and heart but I'm not quite there yet. This is definitely a little bit of a weakness given my last few years of getting comfortable and doing production type work. Now it's something I really have to work at. Maybe it'll be more rewarding now than it ever was before. By the way I did have an idea for the wood blocks. Key hole.

Anyhow I'm dragging and getting pooped, time to polish off a movie and race to find a good dream to get caught up in.

Love and Rock for the new year,

J

A little fun

I decided to have a little fun today. Cuba Libre! Tell your friends.

So this is Christmas

Ahh, what an amazing season of celebration, family and rest. By the way rest does not mean sleep. Even in French... I have yet to have one of my amazing sleep ins. The ones that your almost embarrassed to actually account for all the hours you spent letting your unconscious mind roam. I usually have a few good ones through the holidays just to make sure I'm all topped up when the new year breaks and work starts up again. I'm sure they're coming, but not tonight. I'm having J movie night, me and a movie. Sweet!

It's fully Christmas. Technically it's the 27th. Boxing day has come and gone and apparently malls weren't crazy this year. Perhaps the consumers in us are showing that slump in physical form. Either that or everyone was shopping online. Anyway, to us here in our household it still feels like Christmas day. We've still got all of our presents to open not to mention the energy of a 3 and 4 year old to fuel the party. Right now all is at rest but tomorrow it will be high energy again. My nephew has a knack for waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning ready to go. Since I'm sleeping on the couch on the main floor, I'm in play zone danger. We'll see what I can sleep though I guess. But yeah, we still haven't opened presents. I think for the second year in a row, it doesn't seem to bother me all that much. I think it's that I feel like the best parts of Christmas have already been fulfilled. I spend Christmas day visiting my sister and her fam then driving up to Thornhill to my aunts to join in xmas celebrations, not to mention amazing food. It had been 2 years that I missed out on their gathering which I've attended every year since I can remember. It's great to see everyone again especially as we don't have as many gatherings as the years go by and the family expands. Today I spent the day with my fam, sis, nephew and Cooper the dog. It was a great chill day. Presents are still nice but there's so much more meaning in everything else that's around at this point. Perhaps I'm being overly reflective about it but I guess it just feels good.

Anyhow, I have about half hour of a movie to finish up then some major sleep to catch.

Merry Christmas to all.

A very tired J

Hyper Church: Freedomize visit #3 and more

Yesterday I went back to Freedomize for my 3rd visit. I don't know if I mentioned my Sunday previous but I didn't end up going to FT. I had shopping, errands and various running about to get done in Mississauga. Sadly that took president. I did feel that the day was much less restful. It's a likely result from not taking that time to slow down on Sunday which the service allows me to do. It's similar in that way to my drawing courses through college. Regardless of how crazy it was we had to sit and draw and paint nudes 3 hours a week. Lots of people rushed out of there but I totally treated it as my relax time and enjoyed the fact that I couldn't work on anything else at the same time as I was drawing. Church is more than that or should be at least but it's one very good thing about it. The service being 2 hours along really emphasized that too. It's not a quick jaunt in.

Well I'm sure my ramblings show it but I'm really liking Freedomize. This week was all about love. The last Sunday before the end of Advent. The energy was high. Kat had a few friends visiting the church the night so I got to sit with a few new faces. The band led the service again but with another slightly different arrangement. Drums, acoustic guitar, bass, sax, a melodica (maybe) and 3 female vocalist. Anyone who knows my musical taste should know that I have a serious weakness for female vocals. Love it! Good cause the night was all about love. Very sweet melodies and upbeat songs started the night off. As we were finishing off the service I can't recall the song we were singing. Something about Sweet sweet sounds. Voices sung loud and it was truly a chorus of celebratory tones. It was so good that pastor asked if wanted to sing it again and a whole bunch of people went up front, took shakers from the band and carried on in celebration to do the song again and end it all off a cappella. There was so much good energy that I think I'm still feeling a little bit of it today. I'm sure it helped that today was one of those wintery days with lots of snow around and a clear crisp blue sky above. 

Tonight I had to finish my last bits of my scaled back shopping. Coming out from work onto the street I was greeted by the lights and sounds of the city and the gentle dusting of snow in big flakes. I think I was in awe of the night until I got on the go after shopping was all done. I think sometimes I just feel more life going on in the city and snowfall is always a little special. It was another one of those great moments that are so simple that I wished I had someone to share it with. So I did haha. My geeky self texted a few close friends. I think it's really important to stop and be in awe. Sometimes that's all we need to make a day amazing. My night was.

Now I'm back home in the burbs and things have a little bit of a different tone. For some reason, I'm clashing with my family and the house feels a bit like a stress ball. Ah the holiday season, so simple and so complex. Anyway, I better go clean the bathroom and do a few productive things before I literally dive into my bed. I really can't wait. Last day of work for the year tomorrow!

Merry Christmas to all. Safe travels for all that are going anywhere and sweet dreams.

Peace, love (cause it's all about love) and rock!

J

Chess Anyone?

So... I love Toronto right.

One thing I'm learning to love is the strange encounters with quite eccentric people of all ages and stages in their life. I think each day brings a new level of appreciation or perhaps confusion like today. Let's explains shall we? I was having a meeting with a client in Starbucks and nearing the end of the meeting a man looking slightly scruffy walked in and sat down at the table next to us. He was wearing a laminated pin on batch. I can't remember what it said. He had in tow a hard suitcase with rolly wheels with a sign on it. It said Mr. Plow or something on it. Then in large letters (cut out and taped on) Professional Procurator Expert Legal Advisor. I later noticed there was a long list on the opposite side of the suitcase, I'm sure it was all picture worthy but there I was without my camera. The man didn't speak English, it might have been Spanish. He was speaking to us none the less and we were quite confused. As the man sat down he began to settle as he was talking. He then opens his magical case and pulls out a chess board and pieces and begins to set them all up. At this point there was no one sitting opposite him. Though it was a little comedic at that point both of us hoped the man had someone to play chess with. We commented how he was so happy and though he made some very interesting motions to the pair of us with some hand motions I care not to explain implications of it was all good. He soon after moved to another spot with an opponent to start the first round of many I'm sure for the night.

What a strange goings on in such a main part of the city—Yonge and King. As I sit here wondering what it all meant I realize just how many people he must have mystified that day. For me, that made my night. How do you repay someone such as this that can make a seemingly ordinary night something that you might write on a blog. Something that's picture worthy and an obscure little caption in your life that you're likely to repeat to people you run into for a week until it's no longer in the front part of your brain. What a special man. I wonder if that's his spot, do I dare hang out there next Tuesday to see?

Any way you slice it, that was pretty fun.

Well, I have work to do now so this is J signing off.

Rock and love!

The week is capped off with visit #2 to Freedomize Toronto

So today is Sunday–the day that caps off the weekend. What better way to end a week that felt a little weird then by playing it out just a little bit different than the last couple weekends. In previous posts I told you of my Sunday chill work sessions at the Jamie Kennedy cafe (now called Hank's). Today I was supposed to take my nephew to his last indoor soccer session for the season  as winter is now upon us. The fam including the little one just didn't wake up all ready to tackle the -18 with windchill conditions to make it to a 10:30 soccer game so we hung out, ran a few errands and had some lunch before I was to meet up with a dear friend before Freedomize session 2.

End result is that the day was pretty phenomenal. For some reason it seemed to break the blahness of the week that came before and continued in the great vibe of the rest of the weekend. Fabulous!

We showed up at the church a little on the early side when they were still setting up. Pud the TDI was the transport for the day hence the early/on-timeness. Walking into the church this time was a little different than before. Still setting up they needed the lights on to see what they were doing. It wasn't as much of a new and fresh entrance and I thought in my head if I would have as good an experience as the week prior. Church was more about sounds in the background and ambience wasn't it? After a little chatting, they were all set up, the lights went off and a reading begun with ambient sounds, tones and drips of water. Like before, the tone was set quite well and we had most of our attention turned to the front.

The band leading was with a slightly different arrangement of people, same acoustic guitar frontman but instead of drums and bass, there was a ukulele. A sweet one at that. Picture a white glossy Les Paul, double binding, black headstock, but a ukulele. Awesome! Besides the novelty factor it was pretty awesome to hear the combo. Let's focus now people! Remember this is not a show and it is church and I spent my time through the songs listening, reading the words (mostly all new to me as I don't know any of the songs) and listened to those voices beside and around me singing along. Again this was definitely a celebration and I was happy to be there.

The speaker this week was Kevin. He spoke about consumerism and the xmas season and all of the conflicting thoughts Christians may face. I won't really go into it but his delivery was humourous with technical difficulties and it all came across as a good message with questions to discuss further. This is great because at this point in time, how many days before Christmas...? I haven't begun shopping for anyone. I'll be thinking about it through this week as I have to head out to the mall etc. and do that whole shopping thing.

At the end of the service, I find myself taking away a lot and to my surprise, I'll definitely be going back to Freedomize sometime soon. Who know's maybe next week? Say what you will about your own religious or faith experiences, this is definitely something that's good for me right now. In a season where there is so much rushing and worry take some time to reflect a little bit, pause or slow down one night a week. You'll appreciate everything that much more. In terms of my own beliefs I'm going to take it slow. I won't figure out where I stand in a couple weeks after an 8 year or so hiatus. So why rush it. I don't feel the urgency to make Jesus and God the focal point of my life or give them the large roles they once played right at this second so why force something prematurely? Time will tell. But for the moment, I won't hesitate to go to church and perhaps be a little confused. I think that's okay and someone has told me it could be a good thing.

Anyway, time to finish dinner and get all ready for a Monday work and then a meeting after work. I think I'll take some time after my meeting to take some photos of the city. I'm sure I can expect it to be a little chilly but there's always a little bit of accomplishment felt taking pictures and braving the cold. That being said, I'm still sporting my spring jacket a la t-shirt and AA cardigan. I havent' been dying for my winter jacket yet so I figure I'll just roll with it for now.

Soo starting to ramble...

Rock, love and peace,

J

Can't stop thinking or wanting to write.

Well... it's been a long day and I'm uber tired. It must have been the late night last night. In a moment I'll put down my laptop turn over and I'll be asleep in no time. It'll be tomorrow before I want it to be, before I've had sufficient time to completely recharge. The weekend will begin in a whir of events, plans and for this weekend I think I'm just rolling with it. I'll enjoy the moments and report back when all is said and done and I need another weekend to recuperate the energy lost. And it will be worth it.

Right now I almost feel like I need to stay up longer till my head sorts itself out. I feel going to bed now will almost be like shutting off a computer in the middle of an important task. What am I thinking of you may ask? Everything.

What does tomorrow hold for me?

Where am I with my recent thoughts and reflections on faith?

What's next for me in my love life?

Is it a bad time for me to date?

What do I have to do to make January a success by finding a job?

Do I want to stay in the city I'm almost discovering for the first time or move away from it?

Friends I haven't seen in years but had really close connections with. What now?

Why do my eyes burn when they get tired?

Well it seems more questions are brewing but I'm crashing as I write this. I better turn off the light before I wake up in the morning with my computer on the floor, my lights still on and a crick in my neck.

Night all. Love ya,

J

And we're back!

Today I thought I'd air my brain out a little on the idea of highs and lows. We all have them and no matter what side you place your perspective you have to agree that they're absolutely amazing. I've marveled at my greatest victories and my most triumphant (Ted Theodore Logan Esquire) defeats. I think it's important. A smile you can't shake off or tears you can't hold back or anywhere in between, sometimes you just have to appreciate that moment. Sometimes the appreciation only comes long after.

In the early part of this week I was experiencing a bit of a low. Nothing horrible, nothing pronounced, just a subtle nuisance. A feeling in my stomach I couldn't shake. I know it was a combination of things now, mostly weather and lack of rock! It sounds silly but music keeps me going, keeps me happy. It's almost like a really great relationship or at least a really meaningful one. When music morale is low, there hasn't been a practice in a bit, it's just like having a long break or long distance relationship. Crazy I know. Yesterday, the band got back together to almost jam. We were missing some gear apparently. After finding this out after driving into the city it was a bit of a bummer but tidying up the space and fixing our beloved fallen disco ball it all felt better, clearer, ready. I'm not usually a late night person during the week but I'm sure I got home around 3 after chilling out at a bar with the guys. (and getting my first parking ticket. ouch!) At the end of it all I got home a little out of it but awoke entirely groggy but refreshed... and groggy. And today was a fabulous day. Work wasn't any different, the commute to work wasn't any different, essentially it was the same exact day.

The end of the day had a little bit of a treat. I can't work that much at home anymore so I go to a coffee shop when I actually need to focus and get things done. My favorite spot just got a name today! It's the Jamie Kennedy cafe attached to the wine bar. It's now, called Hank's. It's all very interesting and curious to me. The communications aren't bad, just unexpected. It seems to have taken the position of a friendly local shop instead of a quality cafe. Interesting position considering their tables are marble, their seating is vintage and they're attached to a wine bar. I'm sure within a few more visits the name won't phase me and perhaps the regular crowd is who they're going to be aiming at. Chances are it will be a place that people will return to but the regular Second Cup coffee crowd, will steer clear of. Their location, a little out of sight much like the wine bar seconds this idea. I kinda like that. I have to admit, I rather enjoyed a nice cafe that no one knew about simply because it was the perfect work environment, good ambience and little distractions. Just enough noise to be sitting comfortably in the back of your mind. Anyhow, if you like coffee, espresso or really nice treats for 1.50-3 bucks, even lunches and sandwiches and tapas for 5-12 bucks it's a nice place. Make sure you stay for the atmosphere of the place, it's almost the best part. It's just south of Front and Church.

Man, I don't know why I'm advertising... please erase that slip from your memory banks.

Anyway, signing off, one happy camper.

Rock!

J

A visit to Freedomize. Yes... I went to church.

So it's an interesting time for me. Looking for a job in the new year, hopefully soon after looking for a place to call my own even for a little bit. A good friend would definitely call this a transition period. It's almost like a step that I feel I should have taken some time ago. Anyhow, the spring will bring interesting things.

Within all of this, growth, movement, evolution to my person I've recently been thinking about faith or religion, or whatever you want to call it. God, Jesus and things that usually get people looking at you if you're on the street spouting out. It's been some time since I've been to a church. I stopped going sometime in high school, about the same time I think I wised up and starting thinking for myself. Even the once or twice a year visits on Christmas and Easter have halted. Don't think about it as a protest or anything of the sort. I don't think I ever thought to myself that God didn't exist or something like that but I guess I felt I had to be me and do the things I thought was right and grow as myself without anything imposed upon me. I follow rules pretty well and was one of those kids terrified of getting in trouble through school so I pretty much followed all those rules for all those years without thinking why.

I grew up Catholic and went through the Roman Catholic School Board and all. Kindergarden to high school. That's a long time to just follow. At one point I had this moment and realized a lot of what we called faith at that point in school was almost just something that we all did. There were few that were passionate about it all. It felt like we were all living this shell of a life. Like on Sunday when you went to church you couldn't wait to get out. Don't get me wrong, what kid wasn't like this growing up? But even growing up, it seemed like even some of the older crowd, my parents, etc were doing something similar. Maybe it's something with the times. Catholics that I speak to now, very few are the churchgoers they might have once been and quite a few have problems with the black and white version of life Catholicism gives off. Where's the understanding and interpretation that we all learn to approach everything in life with? I guess in the end, it just wasn't for me. Services were only an hour on Sunday morning and everything went along like a well oiled machine, a formal environment. I'm sure I'm not painting the same picture I see in my head but I guess the experience just wasn't for me. I didn't become a horrible person in the aftermath. I didn't become a troublesome teen. I didn't become a pottymouth or violent being. I just continued to be me and that's the person you all know. Me as me, a result of 26 years of love, loss, learning, defeat, triumph, disappointment, celebration, discovery, exploration, contemplation, quiet time, music, compassion and perception. Now where does my faith fit in and what do I believe now, after all of that? I'd call myself a more spiritual person, I enjoy moments.

So yeah.. after that huge tangent let's get to the point. This past Sunday I visited church for a service. It was not a Catholic church. A great friend invited me to her church and in this time of my life, I couldn't resist. I thought it was a perfect time and a great way to spend a Sunday evening. The church starts at 5 just by Roy Thompson Hall. It's called Freedomize.

Right off the bat, I was a fan of the atmosphere. This is where my vocabulary breaks down so bear with me. When you enter the main church part with the seating etc (don't know what it's called) it's dark. The only lighting is at the front and there is shadow cast through the whole church. You can see the light on the tops of the pews as a faint outline and silhouettes of those sitting, waiting for the service to being. There were projections of people faces near the roof above the alter. These were somewhat related to the surman. The service was led by a band singing songs I'd never heard before. Acoustic guitar, bass, drums, sax, and keyboard paired with many singing voices in celebration. In my mind, if I were to go to church, this is what it should be. It should be a celebration. People should be happy to be with one another and happy to be in a space to think about their own faith. The Pastor is a great speaker and spoke on Hope as it was the first Sunday of Advent. (No I'm not up on my religion haha. I was totally briefed before hand) In the end, my thought was simply this. I'm so glad that I got invited and more happy that I actually went. I'll definitely return to freedomize soon and we'll see where it takes me. I'm still unsure of my own beliefs but I'm sure I'll sort myself out. For anyone looking for a church that's a little different, that's relevant, welcoming and in a celebratory light, Freedomize is a good one to try out. They focus pretty intently on community and thinking and understanding. If nothing else, it's a great space to go to and clear your head, reflect and observe.

Anyway, still a confused puppy, I'm signing off.

Love, peace and rock!

J