It's my birthday

So it's time. 26. Really? Already? I still feel 20. What does it all mean?

It might mean that I still live at home thus still feel 20 but there could be more to it all. There could also be much less haha.

So I guess at this point in my life I'm supposed to reflect like I normally do. Another year older just feels like a new day to me. A year doesn't pass in one day and at this point in time I'm really not bothered by numbers. I guess you could say a lot has happened in my life or anyones by the time they reach 26. 

I was born, I crawled, I walked, I ran, I learned to ride a bike. 

I spoke my first words, I mumbled, I learned to annunciate, I cursed under my breath and now speak openly.

 I breathed in fresh air, I chose not to be a smoker, I was deemed allergic to cigarette smoke, I took a puff of things at a time and now never again. 

I drank milk, I drank juice, I drank any pop, I drank lots of alcohol and now I'm mostly a savvy sober DD. 

I was baptized, I learned about God, I had my first communion, I had my reconciliation, I had my confirmation. I stopped practicing Catholicism and started living how I think I should live. I'm back into thinking about God after many years of a hiatus. It's all in a different light now. Where has my relationship gone? I like that concept, "relationship".

I learned to play, I learned to do math, I learned how to spell, read and write, I learned how to type, I learned about physics then chose to learn about art and I'm still learning. 

I've loved a lot and lost a lot, I've expressed a wide range of emotions, anger, rage, sadness, depression, elation, excitement, and what seemed like eternal "happyness". 

I got a paper route, I got a job at a supermarket, I got a job climbing a big black tower, I got a job designing and I'm looking for another one. Got any?

I went to Florida, Jamaica, Upstate New York, Texas, Bahamas and Japan.

I listened to dance mix 94, I listened to Green Day "Dookie", I listened to "Alternative", I listened to punk, I listened to Emo and screamo and ska and everything now.

I learned to play the guitar, I learned to play the drums, I played in a few bands and I still play every Friday.

I've pined over dreamy girls, I've been the awkward guy, I got no game. After 26 years, having no game is my game I think.

I've made friends, I've made enemies, I disliked the ideas of enemies, I made more true friends.

I've learned to learn, I've learned to believe what I was taught, I've learned to question, I've learned to believe what I believe and now I don't know what I believe but I think about it often.

It's strange how many sequences happen through the course of the life. Layed out like this it seems like I'm a checklist of things that I've done like bungee jumping or getting a tattoo. Check! Life's so much more. At 26 I think the best thing I have going is how I see the world around me. I see it and I love it and life is good. It's not always easy and it's not supposed to be. It's not always fulfilling but there's a balance to it all in most cases. I enjoy some bad days, and even the bad days can be so much better if I crack a smile or laugh about it all. Nervous laughter even helps.

I dunno. 26. I think it means the same as 25. I don't need anything more or less, I still search for the same things like love and music. Maybe it's all just a reminder that there is a progression to it all. Maybe it's just a day that's all your to bask in the marvel that you were actually born?

I think in my case it's a day to reflect and ramble on your blog before heading into the city for another night.

Love you all,

J

So where am I? What's up?

Me, I'm in Toronto. Well Mississauga wishing to be in the big city. It's not really all that big city any more. I remember being younger referring to Toronto simply as downtown. After going to school, working and almost living here for how many years (7 years if I'm counting right) it seems to have lots the iconic name. It still possesses a unique feeling to that of the suburbs but a different one than before. Perhaps it has something to do with downtown being represented by much more than Queen Street West. We can all confess to being fixated on the shops of Queen and Kensington Market in our youth years as where you wanted to be when you went into the city. Beaches? What's that? 

Anyhow, since maturing a little bit I've been able to see a wide spread in the city and still find thing I get to places and have no clue where I am. It's kinda nice. Then again it's not too hard for me to not know where I am. Just ask anyone that knows me or has has the opportunity to sit shotgun in Pud the TDI. I think now in recent months, weeks and days Toronto is moreso a representation of other things and that is where and why I have a certain fondness for it. It represents freedom of sorts, transition for the next step of my life and opportunity. The city or cities in general have much more life at night than your suburbs that you go home to at night. How many people go home on a weeknight to the suburbs then go out for drinks or dinner or do anything remotely active or exciting? Save that hour commute and enjoy some of the night in the distillery or bloor west and get into all the stuff the city has to offer. If you have work to get done, go to a lovely coffee shop (not talking Starbucks here) and get a coffee any way you want it and focus on your task at hand. Your head will thank you for the atmosphere and surroundings of other people who want to do things not just in their professional careers, that's just silly, but helping out in initiatives, ngo's etc. City life seems more conducive to it all.

So where am I now? I'm in Toronto, at work, then I'm off to Ottawa to return back to the burbs on Sunday. Soon, I will find myself in a city. Which one will it be? Will it be yours?

Sometimes thought's need to go somewhere

Get ready for full activation. It's been a progression of late but I think I have plenty of words inside of me that come out in jumbles and as many of you know, these words end up in your e-mail boxes as novels of the sky being blue on a particular day. Who wants that? Well maybe sometime I'll meed someone who does but for the mean time I've got to channel thoughts, ideas, general ramblings in one place. This is gonna be it. Writing in a journal isn't for me and I work on some private projects I hate the idea of all my words going into some place where only I can see. In terms of the last few months, a lot has happened and nothing has happened all at once. I'm sure I'll be detailing the small technicalities from time to time. Hmm. second thoughts. I could just be a facebook nerd and shoot everything up there having tons of notes thoughts and general unorganized chaos as a full representation of myself. Hmm. Maybe not. I'm sure I'll do a weekly posting of my life in photos, ramblings, links and hopefully it's all something worth checking out.

Please love and rock!

J